Heart of Thorns: a Between the Worlds novel Read online

  She took a deep breath trying to force herself into a better mood by sheer willpower. “You know what? Just ignore me. I’ve spent too long trying to prove to people that I can take care of myself, that I don’t need anyone’s help. And however much I try not to I think I unconsciously channel a bit of my mother’s attitude sometimes when I’m feeling insecure, and she could really be a bitch. So I’m sorry for that.”

  Bleidd’s arms tightened around her, his own residual anger spiking with sorrow. Jess’s feelings twined with his, although Allie suspected that Jess’s anger stemmed more from the mention of her mother, who had abandoned her to her human father’s care when she was a child.

  “You are not your mother,” Jess said. “Nor do you need to fear pushing us away. We both understand, I think, the challenges you struggle with because of your childhood.”

  Bleidd stroked her back slowly, “I cannot claim to understand what a childhood in the Dark court would be like; I cannot even imagine it. The few things you have told us are hard to understand. But I do understand as Jess has said, the way that this challenges you now. You and I both are perhaps too proud and too inclined to resist relying on others, and that I do understand as well.”

  Tears blurred her visions and she blinked them away furiously, upset by the way their kind words made her feel vulnerable. “This courting stuff never seems to get easier, but I am trying. I really am.”

  “We are all making a real effort to ensure this relationship works,” Jess said, and she felt Bleidd nodding.

  “I need to go to the bathroom,” she mumbled, pulling away and walking quickly to the small attached room, hoping they wouldn’t realize she was crying.

  By the time she regained control of herself and handled her toiletry needs Jess had gone down to get breakfast. Or brunch anyway she thought glancing at the clock I’m going to have to get moving or I’ll be late. Dear Gods how late were we up last night? Or this morning? That thought she pushed resolutely away, not wanting to dwell on the blank spot in her mind.

  Bleidd kissed her softly as he headed into the bathroom for his shower, and she hesitated, realizing she should have asked him earlier if she could borrow his car. Crap she thought. I don’t really want to ask him now, not when he’s already helping me later with this other car thing. Well, if Jason’s up I can ask if he’ll lend me his truck, and hopefully my days of bumming rides and borrowing vehicles is close to being over...

  ************************************

  “Allie has left already?” Jess asked as he walked in, arms behind his back.

  Bleidd nodded, running his hands through his wet hair and trying not to think too hard about last night. He was frustrated with his own inability to control his drinking, and if he was totally honest with himself ashamed that his actions had not only, predictably, upset Allie, but also directly affected her as well. “Yes, a little while ago.”

  Jess inclined his head in a shrug and walked over to where the other elf was sitting on the bed. “I have a gift for you.”

  “Do you?” Bleidd said, looking up at Jess in real surprise.

  Jess grinned widely, looking pleased with himself. “I do indeed. Are we not courting too?”

  Bleidd titled his head to one side, intrigued despite his effort to remain nonchalant. He nodded. “We are, but there’s little need to get me gifts. I am…content with things as they are.”

  “I will not settle for merely content,” Jess teased. And then before Bleidd could respond he moved his arms forward holding out a sheathed sword towards the other elf. “I would like you to accept this, as a courting-gift, freely given.”

  Bleidd’s pulse sped up at the sight of the sword, a weapon he’d been denied the use of since he’d been Outcast from elven society more than 50 years earlier. Although his honor had been redeemed now he had not been able to – or truthfully even tried – to reclaim his former rank or place in society, and so he still had no sword. He licked his lips, fighting the urge to reach out and take the blade. “I am not permitted such a weapon.”

  “I have authorized it,” Jess said calmly.

  “Using your position in the Guard for your own ends?” Bleidd said softly, the joke falling flat in his own ears.

  Jess stepped closer still holding out the sheathed weapon. “Shamelessly. Take it Bleidd. I want you to have it.”

  Hesitantly Bleidd reached up his hand caressing the smooth wood of the scabbard. It was an old blade but obviously well made. “This is masterfully crafted.”

  “It was my great-uncle’s,” Jess said. “He was about your height – a good half span taller than I – and so his blade does not suit me. But it will be perfect for you.”

  Bleidd stood slowly, reaching out to take the sword, feeling its weight solid in his hands. “It seems a fine weapon. Should you not keep it though, to give to someone in your own line?”

  “It is a courting gift,” Jess insisted. “I thought you would prefer it to the traditional fancy clothes or fine foods.”

  Bleidd still hesitated, wanting desperately to accept the sword, and everything it implied, but afraid to do so. Jess’s smile faltered slightly. “I would rather you take it as the gift that it is, but if you are unsure, take it because it will let you defend yourself, and Allie, and I as well.”

  Bleidd’s eyes met the other elf’s, and his hands tightened around the scabbard he held. “It is a wonderful gift. And I…accept it for what it is, a courting-gift. I do not know how to thank you, I have nothing nearly equal to this to give in return.”

  Jess’s face had brightened when Bleidd accepted the gift and he laughed lightly now. “Put the sword away.”

  With a moments concentration and the exertion of a small bit of magic Bleidd sent the sword elsewhere. Jess’s smile widened and he reached out and pulled Bleidd’s towel off, his hands sliding easily along the other elf’s body. “I can think of a few ways for you to thank me. All very traditional too.”

  *************************

  “I can’t believe you talked me into doing this,” Allie said, trying not fidget.

  “I can’t either,” Jason said from his position sitting on the floor across the room watching the proceedings. When Allie had asked him to borrow his truck and told him that she was going out to visit Rose he’d insisted on joining her. She should have anticipated that, since she knew how much Jason liked Rose, but as it was it had caught her totally off guard and she’d been unable to think of any plausible honest reason to say no. They’d been more than halfway to the artists’ co-op before she’d broken down and confessed the real reason for the visit. He’d teased her mercilessly by saying he refused to believe that Allie would agree to model for anything until he actually saw Rose take the camera out to get the pictures she used as a basis for her sculptures. Now he was watching in amusement as Allie sat in the middle of the floor with her legs crossed, her hair cascading loose down her back and an open book held in her lap.

  Rose shifted to Allie’s left side, the camera whirring softly as it took a series of pictures. “Nonsense. This is going to be amazing. I’m telling you the best thing I ever did was decide to come out here to the co-op. It’s been non-stop inspiration and this new series I’m working on is my best work, it really is. You know, my family thought I was crazy wanting to come out here, but when they see the new exhibit, well, they’ll see.”

  Allie tried not to think about any sculpture Rose did based on her ending up in an art gallery exhibit, and instead focused on a subject she could deal with, “Your family didn’t want you moving here?”

  “Oh Lord no,” Rose said, smiling and moving around to the right. “My girls were sure I’d finally lost my mind, wanting to come out to a Bordertown and live in a cabin. They just don’t understand. The city is full of inspiration too, but that’s a whole different kind of energy and I wanted a change of pace. I wanted something new.”

  “I’m sure the reputation Bordertowns have for being dangerous probably worried them,” Jason said. “Espe
cially with you living here alone.”

  “Well, I’m hardly alone surrounded by a dozen other artists,” Rose said, smiling slightly. “But you’re right that was part of it. They worry that I’m not safe. And I think, honestly, that they don’t like me being so far away. They got used to me always being there when they needed me.”

  “Understandable,” Allie said, thinking of the way she had relied on her grandmother and how hard it had been when she had died. She struggled not to fidget, distracted by an influx of emotional energy from Bleidd and Jess, and aware by her own reaction what they must be doing. She resolutely refused to think about it and allow herself to focus enough on either of them to read their thoughts, knowing that on a good day her self-control around their sexual energy was at best shaky. It was extremely awkward for her, especially as overcharged as she already was from the activities of the night before, but the only thing she could think to do under the circumstances was try to ignore them. That’s right Allie she thought, gritting her teeth think about your dead grandmother and not about what’s going on back home.

  “Maybe, but like my mother used to say, the only thing that stays the same in life is the way things change,” Rose was saying, kneeling directly in front of Allie. “Try to keep your face still, okay?”

  “Why did you decide to come to Ashwood?” Jason asked leaning forward and propping his chin up in his hand.

  “Well,” Rose said, shrugging slightly. “I wanted a change. My husband passed away last year and it was hard to keep living feeling like his ghost was always right there at my elbow. Not that he was lingering mind you, that man went to a well-deserved rest, no doubt about it, but it felt that way. We’d been married for 30 years and lived together in that house, raised our girls there….I just couldn’t shake the feeling that he might show back up and it was making me really sad.”

  “That must have been hard,” Jason said.

  “Oh Rose, I’m so sorry,” Allie said, meaning it.

  “Hold still,” she admonished, the camera clicking away. “It was hard, and it was exhausting too and I got plain sick of it. So I sold the house and started looking for something different.”

  “Well, it doesn’t get much more different than here,” Jason agreed.

  “And that’s why it’s so perfect,” Rose said smiling again. “This is a fresh start for me. A new chapter. And I already feel like this is my home.”

  Allie tried not to smile at that, pleased that Rose was settling in but remembering that she was supposed to be posing not talking. Jason nodded slightly. “That makes sense, and I’m glad you like it here. Ashwood is a good place, even if it can be strange sometimes.”

  “Yeah I forget the strange until I’m forcibly reminded,” Rose said laughing. “I was starting to think how much this place reminded me of an artist’s retreat I spent a summer at just out of college, and then this morning I look out and what do you think I see eating some of my rose bushes?”

  “Well,” Jason said slowly, “I’m going to guess it wasn’t deer.”

  “Well, you’d be half wrong,” Rose said. “Fairy deer! Four of them, white as snow, red ears, red eyes. Right out there eating my bushes. I swear I’ve never seen anything like them in my whole life.”

  “Oh cool!” Jason said. “Would you believe I’ve never seen any before?”

  “I wish I could have gotten a picture,” Rose said, “They were so beautiful. But by the time I got over my shock and went for a camera something spooked them and they left.”

  Allie had tensed when Rose had started her anecdote but she relaxed immediately at hearing it was just deer. Fairy deer may have looked very different from the sort found on mortal earth, but they weren’t any more dangerous than their counterparts, something that wasn’t often the case with the more animalistic lesser Fey. “I’m glad it was just deer. I was afraid you were going to say it was something dangerous.”

  “No, I’ve been lucky so far,” Rose said finally putting the camera down. Allie took that as her cue to relax and put the book down, stretching her legs out straight.

  “Ha,” Jason snorted, “Maybe some of your luck will rub off on Allie. She could use it.”

  Rose started pulling out vegetables and cookware to make lunch, “What’s going on Allie?”

  Jason jumped up to help cook, but Allie stayed where she was. After a moment she said, “Well…it’s kind of hard to explain really. We’d sort of started joking that I might be hexed or something.”

  Rose stopped cutting up carrots and looked sharply at her, “That’s not something to joke about, so you better start filling me in on the details.”

  Allie blushed, suddenly feeling silly. “I’m probably just being melodramatic. It’s just that this past week has kind of been a nightmare of bad luck; I cut my hand really badly, I had an allergic reaction to the pain killer in the ER, the antibiotic they put me on made me sick, my car died, a bunch of random problems at work, stuff like that, but it all just seems very, well, you know it’s just a lot in a short amount of time. I doubt it’s an actual hex.”

  “Jason, can you do this for me?” Rose asked, handing him the food she’d been working on. He nodded and set the pot he’d just filled with water on the stove. Allie was relieved to note that unlike the tea kettle the pot at least wasn’t iron. “Give me a minute Allie to get some salt and water and I’ll be able to tell you if there’s an actual hex or curse going on.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to go to the trouble,” Allie stammered, not wanting to put her friend out.

  “Nonsense, it’s no trouble and always better safe than sorry where that sort of magic is concerned,” Rose said briskly, wiping her hands on a dish towel and then pulling down a small bowl from one of the shelves.

  “I didn’t know you were a witch,” Jason said, watching in open curiosity, as he added the diced carrots to the water.

  “I’m not exactly,” Rose said dropping a handful of salt into the bowl and then half filling it with water. “Or at least I wouldn’t call myself one. But I’ve spent a lot of time studying folk magic and I can hold my own.”

  She walked over to Allie, who stood up awkwardly, still feeling silly about the whole thing. Rose held the small bowl in one hand and placed her other over the top, then chanted quietly, “Light to dark, show the mark. What was concealed, be revealed.”

  She nodded slightly at Allie, “Put your hand out and hold it flat.”

  Allie did as she was told and Rose carefully splashed three drops of the blessed salt water onto her outstretched hand. Nothing happened. “Is that good?”

  Rose frowned slightly, “If you were hexed the water should turn dark. So no hex here. But I don’t like this run of bad luck and I don’t believe in coincidences that run into the double digits. Especially the unlucky kind.”

  “That was pretty neat, I’ll have to remember that one,” Allie said trying to make a mental note of exactly what Rose had done. Then she inclined her head in an elven shrug, “And if it’s not a hex what else might it be?”

  Rose’s frown deepened. “I’m not sure. It sounds like a classic bad luck hex, but if there was anything like that cast on you that spell would have shown it, and it’s definitely clear.”

  “And don’t you have wards for that sort of thing?” Jason asked.

  “Yeah, I do actually,” Allie said. “If anyone tried to hex me directly theoretically it shouldn’t work or I should at least be aware of it, and besides a nagging feeling that everything’s going wrong it seems fine.”

  “Hmmmm.” Rose said thoughtfully. “Well, I still don’t like it. Let me cross-reference a couple things just to be sure I’m not missing anything. Until then I can suggest some simple charms to help turn your luck around that should improve things.”

  “Thanks Rose.”

  “Well I owe you one for posing for me don’t I?” Rose asked.

  Allie smiled back, going with her to help get bowls down from the shelves and trying to pay attention as Rose started to describe di
fferent unhexing charms. But she found it hard to focus. Deep down she had almost hoped Rose would find something and she’d at least have an answer to the weirdness going on lately. Being told that there was nothing there meant that everything really was just her own bad luck.

  It made her start to think about what she’d done in life that might deserve this. And she kept seeing dead birds whenever she closed her eyes.

  **************************

  They were late leaving Rose’s place but as if the Universe were offering an apology to Allie for the recent run of bad luck Bleidd’s friend was also late. When Jason’s truck pulled up to the house there was no strange car in sight and Allie relaxed thinking Well at least he won’t be annoyed that I wasn’t here to see the car.

  She had just gotten to the porch as Bleidd was coming out. For a moment she felt conflicted, remembering that she was upset with him, but then Bleidd was draping his arm across her shoulders and his good mood overtook her bad one. Jason walked past Bleidd and Allie and into the house. “I hope everything works out for you guys, but I’m on third tonight so I need to try to get some sleep before I head in to work.”

  “Thanks Jase,” Allie said. “And thanks for the ride out to Rose’s”

  “Are you kidding? It was worth it to see you playing model,” Jason said, laughing as he slipped into the house.

  “Playing model?” Bleidd repeated in disbelief as Allie squirmed. They both turned as Bleidd’s friend arrived with someone else. They came in two cars, obviously confident that they’d be leaving one there, and Allie’s heart sank when she saw them and realized that she couldn’t tell which car was for sale. Both vehicles were only a few years old and looked good. One was a light green compact car, the other was a dark blue sedan; both were the kind manufactured specifically for Bordertowns and made with minimal iron.